The Wait

Abstaining from having sexual intercourse with the person you love after you have already had it is not an easy thing to do. I can say this from experience. Five or so months into my pregnancy I can remember sitting in Clint's dorm room looking at him and saying that if we want our relationship to be of God we need to give it God. He agreed.

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable not in passionate lust like the heathen, who does not know God... 1Thes 4:3-5

So with a bit of reluctance our waiting began. We made that pledge to each other and to God. We held to it until we were married. That was a very long 3 years and 7 months. I have no doubt that it seemed much longer to Clint.

Not that it was a blink of an eye for me, but lets face it a lot of men are just more driven by the physical side of relationships. My man is definitely one of them.

The postives of this were amazing. I don't know that our relationship would have survived if we had not taken this step. Putting this part of our relationship on hold made us listen to each other more. We had to work things out by talking through them and then making up in ways that didn't involve sex.

It was one of the hardest things we had to do but I can say it was definitely worth the wait!!!

My Savior

I know there are some holes to fill in but before I get to that I wanted to talk about what happened after God took Faith to be with Him. I went back to school that fall. I can still remember thinking how surreal it all was that I was back at school and just moving forward.

Shortly after starting back at school Clint and I decided to start attending a church near school. A couple of our friends went there and we really admired and trusted them. The people that make up this church will always have a very special place in my heart. It was here that I came to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Clint and I were sitting with one of the Elders, Lindsay. We had all gathered at his house for a hymn sing. We were talking about our daughter, Faith, and all that had happened. It was then that I realized what Jesus did for me. I had to know the loss of a child to understand what God did for me. What He gave for me to live and be free from the sin that I was and am so guilty of.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

I had to know what it felt like to love a child before I could even begin to comprehend what that verse meant. What "God so loved..." was referring to. What He willingly gave. What He allowed to happen so that I could spend eternity with Him. God in his amazing Grace allowed me to experience something that would bring me to my knees so that I could look up and see Him.

Ummmm.....

Okay I am just learning how this blogging works and I actually just finished the last post. It took me a little while to type it all in, so if you are still with me check back soon that was just the beginning.