You Complete Me

The speaker at youth group today was talking about toxic relationships. One of these relationships she titled, "You Complete Me." That famous line quoted by a lovelorn Tom Cruise trying to win back the woman he realized he loves and needs because she "completes" him. I remember watching that moment and I know how often that line is still said. In joking ways and in serious ways. So many people think that line is the end all be all to how a relationship should be. That you are whole when you find "the one" who completes you. The sad part is that is so misleading and false. If you are looking for a person to complete you than you are going to be disappointed.

We were riding home from church and I was thinking about this toxic relationship and realized that I could apply certain aspects of this to my own life.

My husband and I have a great relationship, but it has certainly had its share of bumps in the road. When we were in college we were one of those couples who was so excited to tell people that we were engaged and when we did our friends said, "Its about time!" Its like everyone knew we would be in it for the long haul before we did. It seemed as if it was just expected. Clint is a big part of road that led to my salvation he knew God long before I did. So in many ways I always expected Clint to always do the right thing. And while he is a wonderful, Godly man he is human. So a few years ago when we weren't communicating very well I had to realize that only God is God and I have to be complete in Him before my marriage can be one where we complete each other.

I think we also can apply this to family life and children. So many times you hear someone say, " now our family feels complete." I said that when our daughter, Ella, was born. But as I was thinking about this toxic relationship in the car I realized that God in his amazing wisdom allowed me to learn something new from when I was going through the miscarriages and from Faith's death. When you loose a child you feel like there is a void in your life. Like a part of you has died. And it has. Your children are a part of you both literally and figuratively. When I was going through the miscarriages, I was so unsure why, but as time goes on I am learning that God was teaching me many things through this. Not only did he show me that one child cannot replace another, he also showed me that I had to allow his love and grace to fill that void that had been left by Faith. I had to be content with God's plan for who would be in our family before I could feel complete. I know my family won't be truly whole until we are all walking with Jesus in Heaven, but God has given me a wholeness that can only come from Him while we are here.

I do want to clarify that I am not saying you just have to deal with it when you loose someone. NO WAY. It is a long individual process where you feel utterly devastated and destroyed. Then you feel anger and frustration. Then you feel things only you can feel and know, but, when you are ready and you seek God you can have healing. Healing that can only come from God and his Agape love for you. Healing that doesn't mean forgetting. Healing that doesn't mean leaving that someone behind. Healing that means knowing God's love for you will carry you through all those moments when nothing else makes sense and your heart hurts so bad you don't know how tomorrow will ever come. Healing means knowing and trusting that God has a complete plan for you life and that He loves you completely as only he can.